“I have to” becomes “I can”
“I’m so glad I’m me.”
“I am full. I am whole.”
These are the messages that spontaneously arise inside these days.
Isn’t that amazing?
It’s entirely possible to treat yourself with compassion and friendship.
And you can learn how to do that too.
These are some of the internal messages I used to have by contrast:
- “You should have…”
- “You have to…”
- “You need to…”
- Running my to-do list through my head constantly
- Running an explanation of how I’d explain myself (my decisions) to others (so they would understand/agree)
I had a lot of “try harder, do more” messages. And a lot of “make sure others understand” focus. What kind of patterns of messages do you notice?
A lot of times our internal messages tell us about needs or pressures we’re experiencing.
What if we took a step back and got curious about them?
What if instead of immediately obeying them, or trying to get rid of them, we learned from them? They are holding information about needs that still need to be met and wounds that need to be healed.
Therapy - specifically IFS therapy - is amazing at helping you work through this. (CBT is also good for examining thought patterns - it helps you shift the thought patterns, but it treats them as nuisances to be dismissed instead of hurt parts that can be befriended and healed.)
I highly recommend Freedom From Your Inner Critic to “tend and befriend” the critical messages you encounter.
Email me and tell me about the messages you have inside - what is and what you hope for.
